Don't Pick Up Stray Aliens

Another day has gone by. Too much paperwork, too little energy... and on the way home you see a tall blond guy bowing to a vending machine like it just committed an unforgivable damage to it. He claims he's an alien who crashed here months ago. Tried many forms to survive: streetlight, cat, mailbox... But he says the human body is the easiest to handle. With a notebook in hand, his eyes gleaming like a puppy's, he asks you: "please teach me how to be human". How can you not bring him home?